His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
