It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
