Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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