Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
