Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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