Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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