i need an iv and a liver transplant
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize