Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
