Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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