The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
