theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
