i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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