I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize