I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
