How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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