First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
What a dumb baby whore.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I deserve this hangover.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize