Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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