cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think my vagina is haunted
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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