bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm just crazy horny about you
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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