sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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