So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
