I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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