No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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