Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
