Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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