you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
