This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
