Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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