that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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