Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Such a big mess for such a small penis
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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