i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
