You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
