We're like a lot better than the average bears
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize