Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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