And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We left the knife in your bed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
