dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
