Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
