hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I could make wine with my vomit
handjob tips. give me some.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
