He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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