and i looked up. we had an audience...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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