Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
do herpes really smell.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
