Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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