hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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