i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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