I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
