Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
