Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
