Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
