I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
