walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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