im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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