Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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