hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
