and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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