Me too!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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