So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
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A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
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Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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