No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
