If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
