meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize