So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
