I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
porn star boner night. come get it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
