plz talk dirty to me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
